We humans have a tendency to give more importance to negative experiences than to positive or neutral experiences. This is called the negativity bias. We even tend to focus on the negative even when the negative experiences are insignificant or inconsequential.
Negative experiences tend to affect people more than positive ones. A 2010 article published by the University of California, Berkeley quotes psychologist Rick Hanson: “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.”
For years, I have dealt with the negative forces of a sad, lonely person. Her Facebook posts are meant to intimidate and hurt. I have come to realize that her posts are merely a reflection of her past actions, cruel throughts, and negative behavior. It must be sad place to be.
Why are some women so nasty to other women, especially at work where we’re supposedly being paid to achieve the same organizational goals? Essentially, there are three main reasons women are nasty to other women:
Because they project their unwanted parts onto the other women; especially their fear, envy, jealousy, suspicion, resentment, rage, anxiety, or lack of self-esteem and confidence.
Because they can get away with it; as a sport, fun, panacea to boredom, delight in spite, or because their lack of curiosity/tolerance of difference suggests they probably don’t like people anyway.
Because they don’t have the interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills to recognize or alter their behavior (this is HUGE).
With nasty women, it is usually their unconscious fear or need for control being triggered by the new girlfriend, the new wife, or the different woman at work who threatens them. I have noted that when we are disconnected from ourselves, and our emotions and true needs, we can become narcissistic and oblivious to our impact on others; it doesn’t enter our consciousness to even consider that we need to be adult, reasonable, inquiring, and celebrating of difference.
Today, take the time to consider the powerful emotions between the positive and the negative. It takes great courage and resolve to move through what I have endured over the past years but I have done it. I am grateful to the cruel woman who pushes me to be better, stronger, and more accomplished.
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