You know you’re in the presence of people trying to show how important they are by the way they make you feel inferior. I have learned, in a wonderful way, that they can only make me feel inferior of I let them. I have been proud of the way that I can now position myself in self-worth and wonderment.
People who feel inferior will often puff themselves up on a pedestal to alleviate their own sense of weakness. The Viennese psychoanalyst, Alfred Adler, was one of the first theorists to address such individuals by defining the quality of “striving for superiority.” Adler, who also coined the term “inferiority complex,” believed that people who were convinced of their own weaknesses would build an outward shell in which they went through unusual efforts to present themselves in the most favorable possible light, in order to avoid confronting their own weak and wobbly interiors. Of course, this can be exaggerated with environmental and mental issues. I deal with this on a daily basis with a person that can't seem to disengage herself from me and seems to want to make bigger and better stories to prove what seems to be her versions of "self-worth" to others.
Although not always recognized for the important impact it had on contemporary psychology, Adler’s theory indeed became the basis for much subsequent research on self-concent and identity. That division between real (i.e., weak) and ideal (i.e., superior) selves can be seen as the basis for failure to find true fulfillment in life. Therapy, according to this model of personality involves helping individuals confront and accept their true, if flawed, selves. However, until people actually receive such an intervention, they will continue to do whatever they can to create the impression that they’re more magnificent than everyone around them. The longer they can avoid confronting their true selves, the better they will become at these manipulative strategies.
Anadolu (Turkey) University’s Ramazan Akdoğan (2017) explored the ways in which inferiority, as defined in terms of both Adler’s theory and the attachment theory of John Bowlby, would predispose individuals to feelings of lonliness. I can imagine that a person constantly needing to feel self-important would have difficulty confiding in others. To show their weakness would threaten their fragile sense of self, so rather than let others in, they create a shell around themselves that they rarely let others penetrate. This becomes a sad situation and is met with anger, despair, and deflection.
In the Akdoğan study, a sample of 422 Turkish undergraduates completed self-report questionnaires assessing their feelings of loneliness, attachment style, and inferiority. The primary focus of the investigation was to predict loneliness scores from attachment, and indeed, people with insecure attachment did receive high loneliness scores. However, inferiority scores played an important role as well. Feelings of inferiority were higher among people with an insecure attachment style, and these inferiority feelings, in turn, predicted perceived loneliness.
People who feel inferior will often puff themselves up on a pedestal to alleviate their own sense of weakness. The Viennese psychoanalyst, Alfred Adler, was one of the first theorists to address such individuals by defining the quality of “striving for superiority.” Adler, who also invented the term “inferiority complex,” believed that people who were convinced of their own weaknesses would build an outward shell in which they went through unusual efforts to present themselves in the most favorable possible light, in order to avoid confronting their own weak and wobbly interiors (I love attending college). Of course, this can be exaggerated with environmental and mental issues. I deal with this on a daily basis with a person that can't seem to disengage herself from me and seems to want to make bigger and better stories to prove what seems to be her versions of "self-worth" to others. Name calling is her weapon of choice; gossip is the highlight of her day! She loves to "tattle" misconceptions and falsehoods.
People who feel inferior will often puff themselves up on a pedestal to alleviate their own sense of weakness. The Viennese psychoanalyst, Alfred Adler, was one of the first theorists to address such individuals by defining the quality of “striving for superiority.” Adler, who also coined the term “inferiority complex,” believed that people who were convinced of their own weaknesses would build an outward shell in which they went through unusual efforts to present themselves in the most favorable possible light, in order to avoid confronting their own weak and wobbly interiors. Of course, this can be exaggerated with environmental and mental issues. I deal with this on a daily basis with a person that can't seem to disengage herself from me and seems to want to make bigger and better stories to prove what seems to be her versions of "self-worth" to others. Name calling, gossip, and rants are common for her to feel superior.
I have a person that claims to be the smartest person on social media! She is the only "right" person and exaggeration is her weapon of choice! When insecure people feel threatened by the possibility that other people are smarter than they are, they’ll feel irrationally challenged. Even if they don’t actually know what they’re talking about, they’ll put on a show with the hope that their razzle-dazzle will fool the crowd. Needless to say, they'll dismiss your contributions as irrelevant or as conveying information that they of course already knew.
Some people have earned every major kudo they've received, but if they’re comfortable with themselves and not particularly concerned about letting everyone else know who they are, you’ll get along with them as well as with anyone. Although people who feel a need to assert their importance aren’t quite as pleasant to be with, gaining insight into what drives them can help you sympathize with what may be a very lonely existence.
Compassion, understanding, resilience is HUGE when dealing with difficult persons. Smile, laugh, and enjoy! Life is too short to waste on such nonsense!
Article, Jul 2022, Elif Cimsir, Ramazan Akdogan
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