There are a few good words we can use when trying to describe someone who is stuck in the past. When they do not want to change or often have a hard time moving forward, you might want to try one of the following: Nostalgic Backward-looking Relic Conservative Anachronism.
But what about people who have had unpleasant past plots play out in their lives? It seems like those people would want to move on, leave the past behind, and go forward. Often, people with an unpleasant past do want to leave it behind, but with the mistaken belief that the future will come and sweep them off their feet if they happen to be standing in the right place at the right time. I mean, they say they want to leave the past behind, but really, they just want to talk about the past without people thinking they’re dwelling in the past. There’s a part of each of us that knows that dwelling on the past does not help us progress toward bigger better plots in our life stories. Yet, we find ourselves, as humans gravitating toward people who are willing to hear us tell the same stories over and over again.
The psychological reasons why people dwell in the past are infinite and varied, although they all come down to the fact that people unconsciously fear and simultaneously seek to master certain life events that trouble them. By repeating troublesome life events over and over again, and staying mentally, spiritually, and emotionally fixated on these past life events, people are able to work toward mastery, much as a young child works toward mastery of his or her times tables by practicing them again and again. There are rare instances when it is necessary for a person to get some kind of help in overcoming the past life events that troubled them. But generally, fixation on events that happened in the past is a choice. Repeating the same plot is also a choice, even if it is not a conscious one. And although such judgment may sound harsh, the reality is that since it is a choice to dwell in the past, people who have a habit of dwelling in the past are blessed with the wonderful alternative of choosing something different.
I guess the momentary spotlight of a Dr. Phil show or finding some new passion to draw people who are suffering to the web of deceit becomes the focus instead of learning new ideas, moving forward into a new beginning, or cleaning up the environment around them.
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