I have been learning to understand that people are mean due to some flaw in themselves or distortion in their thinking. Unless you have done something significant; others' meanness is not about you. It is important to understand the difference between unintentional meanness and malicious meanness.
I believe that some people have a sense of superiority because of their belief systems and perhaps mental issues. These people believe in their right to behave in a way that might hurt other people because they are doing it for morally superior reasons. One example is that this person who believes she is always right so her opinion is more valid than what others think. If she can't find a piece of information that she thinks she should find, we are liars!
Fixation and obsession are common elements among several mental illnesses. There would have to be a differential diagnosis to determine severity and what exact disorder or condition is reflected by that symptom (and I am sure there is). There are a number of kinds of fixations. Sometimes fixation is a form of infatuation or lust (perhaps associated with yellow roses). I didn't realize how this was such a fixation because it is related to something that she can't have. This causes her to lash out at me. These fixations occur when an issue or conflict in a psychosexual stage remains unresolved, leaving the individual focused on this stage and unable to move onto the next. And here it is!
I am grateful for the fortitude to have moved on to the next, far and away. Understanding is a huge process but once it happens, life moves on! I am grateful for the agencies that assist in keeping my family safe.
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